I'm Mortal

by Orin

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released May 21, 2014



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Orin Hobart, Australia

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Track Name: Me
I spent half a life working out who I was
And the other half trying to become who I wanted to be
Sometimes I think how things could have went differently
If I'd spent my life being me

When I see someone I know
I turn my head and look away
I wait for them to approach as I hide my face
And nearly every time they walk on by
They walk past, nothing is said
So I make a conversation and a reason to live all in my head

It seems so wrong to use our time trying to forget
How we drank and fought and fucked
And then that little thing death
As we get old our body learns and tries to help with it
But then we struggle separated and we leave things all in a mess

The little things defined it all
Track Name: She
When you were there
Did you feel
Like you cared
Like it was real
Now you're gone
Does it all seem
Like you aren't you
Outside your dreams

Speak the things that plague your mind
Let me in, I'll die inside
My one thought is I'm mortal
My mortality, it clutches me

She says she hates the silence
She says she fears the solitude
She says all that we will love
Is all that we will lose

If you could choose one memory
To live inside for an eternity
Who and what and when and where and why
Do a few moments make entire lives

She says she hates the silence
She says she fears the solitude
She says if we create us
It will collapse to me and you

I know you said I can't take it back
All that I did
She's turning her back

We reach a point where we want to restart
How can I love when I could break your heart

So please become a memory
I've left you now please leave me

My mortality, it clutches me
Track Name: Wires
Move, click click
And theres some words you can remember me by
A moon, crescent
Is past its peak and all the children are inside
Here's your lullaby
I hope you remember
Here's your second goodbye
Don't you ever forget

No, its not the glass this is my face
I flew into the sunlight in your place
Yes I saw those signs
Still I scrolled right in
Your web of wires held me as I watched
You lurch, you sidle over
And you caught all you want

Never did you touch me
Still my insides are shook up
By you, do you know

Say my name

Could you love me through these wires
Stretch the insights, look inside
Unravelling my desires
Oh ones are exes to my eyes
Track Name: Hands
Satellite up above me, lonely
Somewhere in between
Caroline we'll fall in love
But still your name will grind my teeth

How can I believe
When everything I know is what you have told me

Set alight
Candelabra find yourself a filament
Speak your mind
Its kinda hard when the hush sound is heard from birth

Could you do this for me

I don't know what to do with my hands

If I lie to make you happy
Does it justify my words
Darkest times my love
Remind us of the hope in

How can I believe
When retribution can be gained so easily

I'm angry at a God whose hands are so damn clean
Blame the stars
We wish on satellites and wait for change

After all of this
You ask me for my love

How can I believe
When everything I know is what you have told me
And everything I've learnt is based on double speak
And every truth I'm told could be a fallacy
Track Name: Love
If my love was a carousel
Then every horse would spin for you
If my love was a parasol
Then no rain or shine would get to you

I know its not what it seems
When we speak of things that we've never seen
I know its not what it seems always

If my love was a promise
Then every word would stay so true
If my love was a sinking ship
Then tell me girl, would you go down too

I know its not what it seems
When the end does not justify the means
I know I say it too much but I'm sorry

I fall in love with strangers every day
And hope in vain that they will notice me

If my love was a battlefield
Then every death would be for you
If my love was a diseased hell
Then your words would be the placebo

I know it starts to split the seams
When we dream the life out of every dream
I know that you know this too
Yet here still we bleed

I know that there will be an end
Track Name: Wake
Everyone has a place that they can go
In my shell, I've found that I can't face the world
Stretch my spine
Take me to your cleanest air
Then to my hole
Surrounded by clean clasped hands
I spent my life surrounded by them

Your best dress when they scatter the ash
Don't let your tears fall down when you think of the clashes we had
You're still there when the crowd moves away
And in that moment I can just hear you say we had it

Everyone has a place that they feel safe
I could help but I'm ashamed to show my face
La da da, so I'll pretend that I can't hear you
La da da is what I'll be singing

You rolled the stone
And set it out but didn't stop it
As it goes it gathers all that we've now lost and
I don't know what it is that you want
You should know you're so hard to please

I looked up and got left in the past
And you couldn't turn cause I was watching your back
Just this once for me say you could see it
You could almost feel it

What we had was worth more than we'd known
Track Name: Sin
Love, come live in memories
In this jar clutching veiled dreams
Close your eyes listen don't speak
Unless you'll tell me its all alright
I'll be just fine, you'll be there when I wake
I scratch the skin and its not alright
Be by my side when I open my eyes

The coffin promise we made
Without knowing how we would change
I swore that I'd never sway
Look at me now

See how every night it fills my mind
If you could see me now
Would you believe that I shiver and shake
In this darkness you made
You taught me to see but never again
Will I open my eyes

Sin I will find you
When the sky is crashing down on us
Sin I will find you
When the waves swallow the ground
Where I buried my love

Would you want all the love in the world
Knowing it came from me
Track Name: Words
At the end of fourth avenue
We hated each other
And I can't keep doing this
Honing this tumour as I bite my tongue
Shake with sickness, slide snake with him

I'm always wrong and I ask whats wrong
I'm always wrong when I ask whats wrong
Whats wrong with me
You're not good enough is what you said
So tell me at least, what was in your head
Through the two years that we shared
What's in your head

And you don't know what you want

If I said all the words I know would it change
How you felt before I spoke

I asked a thousand times
What I could change
To twist myself and bend
You said it was nothing I did
And nothing I could do

The bitterness for me
Lies in when you said (in the end it all came out)
You always hated that
Or when through instinct
You slipped out I love you, remember that?

I asked a thousand fucking times
What I could change
To twist myself and bend
You said it was nothing I did
And nothing that I could have done

Do you even know me
Do I even know you
You never tell me

I should've snapped
But I was too wound over myself
Stretch out my spine
And vomit at the kinks you left in me
Track Name: Nest
Thats what she said
All I sought
Was her little death

When you became a person
God I was ashamed
A life stuffed full of torn men
Was the legacy you claimed
With every night a struggle
You resigned just to submit
When I entered I swear I heard you breathe
Just please get on with it

If everyone is a saviour then I am just a saint
You parry my advances, I'll betray you to your fate
And if by chance you let me in to the house that you keep
I swear I won't make comment on those visitors before me

Looking back
It all seems pathetic
What we called it
And my pitiful attempts to define it in my mind

Gratify, fulfil me of every thought locked inside
But don't you ever ask me of that which is on my mind
Ballerina never let the truth falter your face
Or speak to me of the ones who've crossed the hearth to this place

Looking back
It all seems poetic
What we called it
And her beautiful attempts to define it in her mind

Were you gonna be the one who stayed
Or were you gonna be the one who came
Track Name: Sigh
Sometimes I think about these little things
They get stuck in my head
And make it so when I blink
My eyes stay shut for a little too long
And its not much but it still feels wrong

Like what if I left my door unlocked
And someone came in my house and saw who I was
Or I closed my door just a little too soon
And no one came in my life and I died all alone

There comes a time you look at your life
The years gone by and how soon you'll die
But take your memories and your loved ones light
When you're enclosed by the dark you'll feel alright

Sometimes I wish that everything I think
Was written on my face, I needn't say a thing
My persona and deeds were made into a word
I could stammer to you so that you'd know

I had this dream I was with someone else
I was away from this place and somehow that was enough
Every day I hope for a future thats bright
It gives todays shades of grey, as each one rushes me by

When I think of death I get this knot inside
And the irony is I've never felt more alive
To make it go away I take a moment to sigh
Put a smile on my face and love each day I have life

Look at your life and sigh
Track Name: Salai
I found a god under my bed
And lost him later in my head
Here's what I thought but never said,
I need you Salai

I looked for god when I learnt death
Is longer than seven lives lived
Too long I searched without a glimpse
And lost you Salai
Please don't leave

Its starting again
Pick up the pieces show me what they all meant
I'm shaking again
Just take my hand and stand and wait for the end

We're dying

I learnt a truth at birth
It stays with me and frays my seams
That my appearance defines everything but family

My lungs will stop breathing
My heart will stop beating
Think of this when you try and sleep
And be haunted like me

God came to me in my last breath
Spoke, "Did you take all that I gave?"
I turned my head and broke his gaze
He sighed and said, "Again, again"